So... You Want to Stay At Home (Part 2)

Dealing with Fear

So, you have a few questions.

PartOne left us in the Limbo Land of FEAR. But, in order to deal with Fear,  we need to ask ourselves "What exactly is fear and what am I really afraid of?" Some say that fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. I really dislike this acronymic definition because it trivializes what we feel. It makes our concerns seem small and it makes us self conscious. Others say that FEAR  is a human's natural instinct of sensing danger and then having a great need for safety. And that is true. When we encounter things that we don't understand (ie. direct sales) we do feel apprehensive. This is  because we haven't had experiences with it, or we have  heard about negative experiences with it or we simply don't want to do it because "I'm not a sales person". and "I don't want to be pushy".  However, I rather think that Fear is a process of thinking things through, while addressing our concerns about a given decision or situation.

The process goes through four (4) stages.:

F) ickle Feelings – being indecisive (waffling)

E) rroneous thinking – the information you thought you knew was wrong

A) rgurments from others – reasons why you shouldn’t

R) ationalizing the "no" and the "I don’t know" – waffling again  with the "because" of it all.

Each one of these steps has a solution to help you work through your decision of choosing to open direct sales business (or anything else) as a viable and valuable choice for you and your family.

Fear Solutions

I read a quote from someone the other day that goes like this: "When the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change, then change will occur". I consider myself as solutions oriented, but I have to be extremely motivated to find those solutions. And that comes from my great need of safety. I can only assume that if you are reading this article, there is something in your life which might be considered painful.  (I am guessing that you wish to stay home, make money to replace and exceed  your current  income and still be comfortable and you are considering direct sales.).

Go through the F.E.A.R. process

· F:  Deal with your Fickle Feelings. Write down on a piece of paper what you feel. Acknowledge both the good feelings and the bad feelings. Once you have your list, look over it and understand why you feel this way.

· E:  Deal with your erroneous thinking. Ask for more information. Ask questions about the business and the products and/or services. Go with a perspective business partner (recruiter) to find out what is really entailed in the Direct Sales process. Go to a meeting with the perspective business partner. Ask questions of her leader. Use the wonderful tool of the internet and do the research. The point here is to get MORE information. Remember, information is power. And Power =Confidence.

· A:  Overcome the Arguments from others. That's really tricky because some people are just set in their negative thinking. In truth, they really don't want to see you hurt. And I agree. But you know what? The solution is above. While you are doing your  research, involve your staunchest critics (who just happen to be your  friends and family) and make them allies. While you get educated, they are being educated also. This will keep minds and the channels of communication open.

· R:  Overcome  the rationalizing of the no and I don't know. Do you know that a confused mind does nothing, and wafffling causes you nothing but stress and confusion? Most people will make either a weak decision or an impulsive decision and say "O.K. I'll try." But, in the words of Yoda, "Try, there is no try. There is either do or do not." In other words Make a strong Decision  based on information and research. Once made in either case you will feel better.

Something to Think About

A while ago I read an article from my mentor, Lisa Robbin Young, which described being on the cusp of making a decision (crossing a threshold/answering the call in one's life). That decision may be starting a direct sales business, moving to a higher level in your direct sales business, making a decision to stay at home, or it may be anything which is important to you. In that article, Lisa described people who are stuck, usually don't make  decisions. Lisa gave 10 steps to Cross the Threshold or Get Out of the Way. She stresses asking yourself these questions with ruthless honesty and No Judgement.  Here they are:

1.     Ask yourself what you really have to gain by not answering The Call for your life. Write it all down. No judgment, just ruthless honesty.

Ask yourself some questions

2.     Ask yourself who you truly believe is standing between you and answering The Call. Write it down, along with why you think they’re in the way.

3.     Ask yourself what you can do to clear the obstacles in your path. Get creative. Again no judgment, just creativity and honesty.

4.     Look at this list and mark off anything that will absolutely prevent you from taking the next step in your business. Anything that absolutely can’t get past to answer The Call.

5.     Now ask yourself what you have to gain by taking the step across the Threshold and starting your real journey. Write it all down. No judgment, just ruthless honesty.

6.     Ask yourself who you truly believe is standing on your side to help you Cross The Threshold. Write it down, along with why you think they’re your Friends on The Journey.

7.     Ask yourself what obstacles may come across your path on the first stretch of the journey once you cross the threshold. Think beyond your current situation, and maybe use some of the examples from above. This isn’t an exercise in conjuring worry, but rather, preparing for the potential roadblocks that are likely to come along.

8.     Look at these lists and identify which of your Friends on The Journey can help you best to handle these potential roadblocks.

9.     If you see an opening that isn’t covered, is it something you can handle? If not, set out to make a new Friend.

10.   If you get this far, congratulate yourself for all the hard work you’ve put in. It’s not easy, and most people won’t do it. Now you have enough ammo to decide if you’re going to press on or quit. But the decision is still yours to make.

So...Do You Still Want to Stay at Home? If so... It's time to Make the Decision to Cross the Threshold, Jump off the Cliff and Build Your Wings on the Way Down.

If you have gotten this far and you are ready click here for the conclusion of this article series.